Journal Entry - Wed 3/18/09

I reflect back to Veteran’s Day in November, 2008. Our community held a 3K to honor our veterans. I decided that I would participate in this event too. This time, the weather was very cold and damp. I believe it was in the forties and it was very windy. I had not ever run more than one mile so running a 3K was a stretch. It wasn’t quite two miles, but it was more than what I was used to jogging. I started out fairly strong. I probably ran about halfway before I really started struggling. It was hard to breathe in such cold weather. I also wasn’t sure how to judge how far I had run or how far I had to go. I was used to looking down at the mileage on the treadmill. I was always able to tell how far I had gone at any given moment. At some point, I was really considering walking to the finish line. I debated for a couple of minutes and then I found someone passing me. As the runner passed, I noticed that he was running with an artificial leg and he was wearing a shirt that indicated he was a veteran. I guess you know what happened next! I saw that man run by and realized that he had served on my behalf, lost his leg, and was still out here in this cold weather running in this 3K. Needless to say, I knew I couldn’t quit running if he had not quit giving for Americans like me. I managed to finish the event and had a faster time than most the people in my age group. The day after the Veteran’s Run, I found myself with some pretty sore shins and thighs. It probably took me about a week before I could comfortably walk down the stairs. Like I said earlier....I really do hate running!

Journal Entry - Tues 3/17/09

Since that day back in August, I have worked slowly to build up my endurance and ability to run. I spent the first 48 years of my life avoiding running so taking this feat on at this point in my life was not easy. Because I have a physical disability, I have to work on everything in baby steps. I knew I could run at least a mile so that is where I began. I worked through many different pain issues as I strengthened muscles that had never been expected to carry me at more than a walking pace. I had setbacks and even went through a period of time where I had to settle for walking. Most days I ran about a half a mile and did about 5 miles on the elliptical machine at the YMCA. Two things kept me going....the first, I realized that I was actually getting much stronger and therefore, this exercise stuff was allowing me to make positive changes in my life. The second.....I was very motivated to dedicate each mile to someone that had stepped up to serve on my behalf. I had to come up with six names a day, one for each mile, and that was causing me to think beyond the people I knew personally. I was now interested in finding out about others that served for me even though they have never met me.

Journal Entry - Mon. 3/16/09

For the past 5 or 6 months, I have been working on the STEPS to HONOR program. It is a dream of mine to get an awareness program started that will motivate people to purposefully set aside time each day to honor our American heroes. I’ve given the program a lot of thought. The program isn’t about who can run the fastest mile or who can run the longest distance. It is simply about honoring those who selflessly serve for you and for me. It has to be a program in which anyone can participate. It can be as easy or as difficult as you choose for it to be. I see two benefits from participating. The first benefit - you will be forever changed if you really take the time to honor our heroes. The second benefit - you will get in better shape!

The reason this program is called STEPS to HONOR and not something such as RUN to HONOR is because not all of us are runners. I can personally tell you that I hate to run. Until recently, I had never run more than a mile without stopping. I had not ever had the interest to push myself in that way.....until I participated in Run for the Fallen last August. As I mentioned earlier, I had begun an exercise program earlier in the year. I had been walking at the YMCA and taking a few exercise classes in an effort to strengthen muscles and better cope with a permanent disability with which I live. I had gotten in the habit of exercising about 5 days a week so I was much more prepared to run a mile than I had been in years. I decided that I was going to participate in Run for the Fallen, and I was going to actually jog rather than walk.

August 24, 2008 was a HOT day in Lexington, Kentucky. As the group headed out to run the mile long trek, I immediately noticed that it was a lot harder to run in the heat than it was to jog in the A/C on a treadmill. About 1/4 of a mile down and I was beginning to think I was crazy! I refused to quit and kept on running. At the half mile point, I was really hot and ready to stop, but I was determined that I would not quit. The last half mile was extremely difficult, but I kept telling myself that I could do this. Certainly the men and women that have served on my behalf suffered much more than I was suffering.....and they had made the ultimate sacrifice on my behalf. There was no way I was going to stop running until I got to the finish line or dropped dead trying to get there! Somehow, I managed to make it to the finish line. I had struggled, but somehow I did make it to the end. The entire time that I was suffering, I was reminded of the names written on my racer’s bib. As I ran and struggled to breathe, I spent time thinking about the individuals I was honoring with my run. I prayed for their families and asked God to give them what they needed to keep on going in this world without their loved one that had made the ultimate sacrifice. I thanked the Lord for His grace and the blessing of living in a land of liberty and for those that had made that possible through their service.

Journal Entry - Fri. 8/29/08

As I run today, I start to pay attention to the many people running on the other treadmills in the room. Hmm...wonder what they are thinking about right now? Are they watching the televisions strategically placed on the walls? Are they singing along with the music playing on their headphones? Are they praying? Planning? Worrying? I wonder if anyone even realizes what they are thinking about right when they run. Until a couple of days ago, I honestly couldn’t tell you what went through my mind while running besides thoughts such as “I am so hot” or “I need some water” or “I should just stop now”. “I can’t breathe.” “I hate running.” “Why is it so hard to get in shape?” Does everyone hate running or is it just me? My husband loves to run but I can’t understand why. Perhaps this understanding will come to me later.

Journal Entry - Thurs. 8/28/08

Participating in Run for the Fallen has given me a lot to consider. Just yesterday, I was pushing myself to run a mile on a very hot day. Today, I am back to running on a treadmill inside the air conditioned gym. It occurs to me that I might just run today’s mile for one of my fallen heros. I typically run 1 mile, walk 2 miles, and do about three miles on the elliptical cross trainer. I quickly came to the realization my daily six miles could be used to honor six heroes. I walked in honor of the six men that I had worn on my bib yesterday during Run for the Fallen. I found that the time went by much more quickly. Instead of looking down at the display to see how much farther I had to go, I was filling my mind with thoughts of gratitude for what these Marines had done for me. I thought about their funerals, and their families.....which led me to pray for their loved ones. How difficult each day must be for them! Before I knew it, I was on the next mile and my thoughts switched to the next hero on my list. It was on that day that I found a new reason to run. I honestly hate running, but I was interested in the idea that I could spend the time honoring someone that had made the ultimate sacrifice for me. I have decided that to honor someone’s sacrifice with a little bit of suffering really causes me to think. Whenever I feel like stopping, I just remind myself that the hero I run for didn’t stop when he was tired. He didn’t stop until God called him home. It’s hard to be a quitter when you think like that! I’m coming back tomorrow and I am going to run in honor of a few more heroes that served on my behalf.